The journey to Black Sash for our youth deeply involves the willingness of the parents to lead.  There is little doubt that the world in which we live is both dangerous and challenging.  It requires a strong, powerful, and confident adult to successfully navigate the waters of life.  How do we get there exactly?  There is an old and true axiom which states that if we train a child in the way they should go, they will not depart from it.  It is equally true that if we train a child in the way they should not go, it is likely that they will not depart from that either.  I believe that parents want the best for their children.  They want their child to have the Black Sash traits of modesty, courtesy, perseverance, courage, integrity, indomitable will, honor, and discipline.  They want their child to learn respect, focus, and self control in all they do.  Does it happen all the time.  Yes it does, assuming that the parents are behind the program and consistently attending.  To the extent that the parents are choosing the right and doing their part, the benefits are imparted.  One of the privileges and responsibilities of parenting is the ability to choose.  We get to choose for our child which way he or she should go.  Sadly, this choice is not always made with the best information, and many parents do not have the necessary life skills themselves to even value the life skills which we teach.  Many parents come into the program understanding little of what is expected and finding themselves immersed in something that they never fully understood.  Still, whether they come to an understanding of the stakes involved late or early, usually they do come to an understanding of some sort. At that point, the parents of our youthful students clearly have a choice.  They can choose between one of two paths.  They can choose courage and commitment or cowardice and retreat.  This may seem to be a strong statement but I believe it to be true.  On the path of courage and commitment lie the rewards of increased self esteem, vastly improved social skills, confidence, poise, self discipline, discipline, courtesy, modesty, self control, honor, integrity, and indomitable will.  Some would say that there are many other ways to develop these traits than in the martial arts.  In my experience, short of military service, there are not.  What builds these traits is the trauma of constantly finding themselves outside of their comfort zone.  This is where the greatest growth occurs.  The only place where this consistently happens is when we train in a Martial Way such as Wu Shen Pai.  The other path is what we might refer to as “the dark side of the force.”  Cowardice and retreat, like all choices, often become habitual.  Children brought up in this way yield constantly to fear, negativity, and despair.  They do not learn to face life challenges with the same poise as those who practice the path of courage and commitment.  They see the glass as half empty rather than half full.  Children brought up in this way become parents of children who are brought up in this manner.  They never venture outside of their comfort zones, but rather live within a safe and secure vista always under their control.  This is not the way we live in the real world, so children expecting this of the world are often maladjusted and have poor relationship skills since they expect relationships to mirror those of their childhood when they were the center of the world, they got their way, and all was well.  The way of cowardice and retreat is where growth does not occur.  Some parents are unhappy with me for not affirming the path of cowardice and retreat as a choice... while I agree it is a choice, it is a bad one.  I do not affirm and embrace bad choices.  We may rationalize and minimize the actions of our children to justify that choice, but it still remains what it is.          - Sigung Jones